Letter from My Heart
by SassySunshine
Summary: I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick and tired of hiding all of my true feelings from you any longer.


**Bralvin one-shot that I wrote while I was thinking...  
**

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**~Letter from My Heart~  
~by ChipetteGirl10~**

_Tuesday, April 17, 2012_

_Dear Alvin,_

_ I'm sitting here with my knees drawn up to my chest, crying my eyes out. It was another jerk. It was another terrible heartbreak. It was another miserably failed relationship that I had tried to desperately to maintain even though I knew things were going downhill. It was something I wanted to keep. But the more I think about it, the more I realize it was just a short-term repeat. It was a short-term repeat of my relationship with you. I know it's rude to mean to make you feel guilty (and I have a feeling you might not be feeling this way) but at this point I could care much less. I need someone to talk to and you're my last chance. Everyone else is away and I can't reach them. Yes, it sounds entirely pathetic to you, doesn't it? Yeah, I know you probably thought you got rid of me nearly seven months ago. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick and tired of hiding all of my true feelings from you any longer. I need to write them here, and I don't know what I'm doing letting you actually read these. _

_ So let me start first with how I was coping with the situation. Honestly, I lost myself mentally. I was talking trash about you, and I was trying to do anything to get you off of my mind. I was trying not to stare at you all of the time. But I went to begging you to take me back, but you refused every time and I guess I was like a stalker to you, wasn't I? A while later, more truth came out about what you said, and I was completely devastated. In the meantime most people had stopped talking to me. A lot of people who I thought were my friends turned their backs on me. I guess I was only popular because of you, huh? Well, it hurt. It still does, as a matter of fact. I guess I could say I would have no trouble finding a job in Hollywood. After all, the past two months have been me just acting like the pain was gone and I wasn't numb any more. It masks how I really feel. I'm depressed, I'm dealing with bullying, and I only have four or five close-knit friends. You're close to being back on the list, but I just don't know with you anymore. It's like on night we have this deep, sentimental conversation and the next day you'll treat me like the scum I guess I am to you people._

_ Now onto my break-up that I mentioned to you at the beginning of this letter. It was three weeks ago when I began dating Collin James Hickennick. You might know him as CJ; he's on your basketball team? Hmm? Well, anyway, he found me one day sitting in a tree in the park crying my poor, pathetic little eyes out. I guess he felt some form of pity for me, because he complimented me, and I guess I could say we hit it off. We went out on five dates in a span of a week (I know, it's crazy) and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like the true idiot I was after having dated you, I said yes. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how this was going to end. He told me I was beautiful every day. He said it right in front of you, but you were too busy talking to someone else about something to notice. We drifted apart, right when I needed you. Slowly CJ began to look at other girls every time I tried to talk to him at school. They were girls in our grade that I thought (and that you apparently thought) were far prettier than me. Like how I was with you, I was blinded by love and couldn't notice that a thing was wrong. It was fine yesterday morning as I walked down the halls to math class, and that was when I saw it. Leaned against the lockers, CJ was passionately kissing Charlene. It was CHARLENE, of all people to be kissing. I wanted to slap him so hard, but instead I shouted his name. The look I gave him scared the crud out of him, because he gave me a sheepish wave, turned, and ran away. _

_ The thing that scared me the most was how similar the relationship with him was to the one with you. How he loved me was how you loved me. How he went behind my back is how you went behind my back. The only thing different is that you told me we were over, whereas I caught him kissing someone. This is where you come into play. When I walked into math class your gaze was locked on me as I sat down at my desk trying not to let the tears spill over. When I walked out of math class your gaze was locked on me as I made a clean break for my locker, away from you. How much I wanted to run back into your arms and have you tell me that everything would be alright. How much I wanted to hear your voice in my ears. How much I wanted your soft lips against mine. Like I said, I don't know why I'm actually telling this to you. But I guess if you want someone to know something and the hints you constantly drop aren't getting through to their mind, you need to write it out. Alvin, the entire point of this letter is that I miss you. I need you. I don't think you're going to feel the same way, even after reading this, but it was worth a shot. I wanted to let you know I'll never let you go, because you never forget your first love. So the point of this letter is: I'll never ever forget you, you'll never stop invading my mind, and I'll love you to the end of time no matter where you or I end up. So I guess that's it._

_Your Ex-Girlfriend,_

_Brittany_

No matter how many times he read it over, Alvin still couldn't believe what he was seeing. He couldn't believe that the girl whose heart he had shattered over half a year ago was still deeply in love with him. His blue eyes glassy, he refolded the note and tucked it back into his pocket. His heart was touched, and he still didn't know how he should react.

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**R&R, I hope you liked it. Whodunit – Chapter 9 in progress!**


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